Why Josh Can't Be Left Alone

One of my favorite pastimes is checking up on onlysimchas.com to find out the latest in the social pecking order. I'm even known to post occasional greetings when I don't expect to have the opportunity to do so in person. But I've always been amazed by one type of post that seems all too common and all too disturbing. No, it's not the "shrieking-through-the-monitor-Can't-turn-off-the-capslock-I've-been-eating-too-much-sugar-I-don't-know-fluent-English" posts. Those become kind of quaint after you've gained some familiarity with subjects of the feminine gender. I've always wondered about the "I can't believe I found out about your simcha from this post." Something about wishing great things on a person and then stabbing them in the back (publicly) for not being a good friend seems contradictory. Why post if they're going to walk away feeling like a jerk? Isn't the point to spread the good cheer? So get over the fact that they had to call two hundred people simultaneously and you didn't make the list. Just say you're happy to hear the good news.

And while we're at it, don't post "I can't wait to dance at your wedding." Who said you were invited? Don't make any assumptions; you don't know how many people they plan on having, or where you fall on their list. What do you really accomplish by twisting their arm into feeling obligated to pay for an overpriced entree?

Just wish them well, and go on to trolling the site for pictures of single friends.