Monday, June 27, 2005

Don't Get Scared

I know this is extreme, but another dvar Torah. Don't worry I won't do this too often, it's just been a busy few weeks.

Some random person I've never met asked me to speak at Sheva berachos. Why not, I thought. Who's better at putting their foot in their mouth than me? And so the story begins...

The newlywed couple has certainly received their share of advice from numerous individuals. Some probably mentioned things that the husband shouldn't forget to do, and some probably mentioned things that he should forget to do. Bottom line, people realize that before getting into something big, it pays to have some idea of what you're getting into. We since this in Parshas Shelach, which deals with the story of the Meraglim, the spies that were sent to scout out the land of Israel before the Jewish people would settle there after leaving Egypt. But the Jewish people were punished for listening to the advice they received. If it is reasonable to scout out a deal before getting into it, and if heeding that advice is important, why were they punished?

There were two kinds of advice. The defeatist, petty advice of the majority, and the lofty, idealistic opinion of the minority. In order to succeed at a large scale mission, it is not the nitty gritty details that gets you through. It is the focusing on the large picture. Winning a war isn't based on whether a general decides to attack from the left or right flank. It is won when he inspires his troops to unite for a common cause. Gd saw that the Jewish people were engaging in petty behavior, and not uniting behind the new committment He had planned between Himself and His people in His land.

And this is the advice for the newlywed couple. People will come to you with all sorts of advice. But it is the focusing on your ultimate dreams together that will most strengthen your marriage, for that is the long term glue that has bound you together. You should be blessed with many years of uniting behind the ideals that brought you together.

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By the way, for purposes of the blog, I pulled my foot out of my mouth.

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