Why Josh Can't Be Left Alone

A frequent question I get is, What's with the beard (and Payos)? What better place to answer a serious question then on a blog where I regularly make myself look rediculous? Many would say the beard makes me look rediculous, so maybe it is appropriate.

First the short answer. 1) It is halachicly prefereable for a Jewish man to grow a beard. See the Chofetz Chaim's work, Tiferes HaAdom. 2) There are benefits in preserving a distinct Jewish looking, both in affecting your personal behavior, as well as influencing other's behavior towards you.

Now the long answer.

I went to Solomon Schechter, growing up kind of frum. In Eighth Grade, right around my Bar Mitzvah, I decided to take a more active role in my religious affairs, beginning to wear Tzitzis at school. Knowing I was going to be attending an Orthodox high school the next year, I felt it would be hypocritical to hold off following religious laws only once they became academic dictates. I started to wear only pants, knowing that was part of the religious dress code that would be enforced.

Once I got to high school, let's just say I was disappointed with the caliber of the religious fervor of my peers. It hit me all at once at the after party following the annual formal. Let's just say that the behavior of my classmates was highly unorthodox. After that experience, I set aside my classmates from being role models and began to develop an independent standard of what it meant to be religious. Having a subpar religious education forced me to adapt more reactionary than knowledgeably. I starting growing Payos to set me apart. I chose this specifically as I knew it was not some religious symbol that I could hide or bury when it wasn't convenient, as I saw my peers doing with their religious background. And I couldn't grow facial hair at that point.

That started a personal trend, and I moved toward many other personal strictures that assured that my behaviors withstood the many tests of my surroundings. As I became more learned, or at least slightly more educated, I learned, thanks to a Lubavitch chavrusa, the real Halachic import of a beard (although the Payos would not find such solid support). Additionally, as I watched my friends rise and fall religiously, I saw that having my decision strengthened me in many situations where I might otherwise have failed. My look forces me to consider the impression I give to others, and the duty I have to maintain the dignity and honor of the religious people. I can't sneak into a bar without raising eyebrows. I can't swear without disappointing. And no girl will touch me. And that doesn't even touch on the bonus points I can earn when I do things right.

A lot of people ask if I'll shave it all off for a girl. I would trim it down for a job. Halacha clearly maintains the ability to fall back to a lower standard for the sake of earning a living. But for a girl, I fail to see the purpose. The non-Jews at work might not understand or appreciate the religious significance, thereby necessitating a lower standard. But a girl I want to marry? I shouldn't expect her to appreciate religious significance? I mean, I understand that I will have to expect a wife to change many things about me. But I assume that sharing an appreciation and passion for religious committment should be a commonality. So as flexible as I am prepared to be, I don't know why I'd expect this to change.

Hopefully, this gives you a better overview of my thought process. Feel free to ask on any points I may not have (fully) addressed.