Why Josh Can't Be Left Alone

My grandfather makes jewelry, and had it on display at a nearby art fair. I helped him clean up and brought all the equipment back to his house to be put away. All that I could think about when I was in the house was how we used to have so many family get togethers there. Now we don't have any. and I realized it's all been since my grandmother passed away 7 years ago. She was the one that led our family, and kept us together. Now we're much more dispersed. And I realize how much I miss my grandmother. I can't explain it. But I totally felt the pain of loss today as if it was fresh. I started crying in the car ride home. Well, not actual tears. But I was all choked up. That's pretty much as far as I can usually go. Never tears running down the cheek. I wanted to come home and tell my mom how much I miss her mother. But by the time I got home, I couldn't. I just went straight to my room. I wish I could understand how emotions work.