Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Discriminating Taste
I learned something new at shul. I discriminate. I hope not outwardly, but I do in my heart. There is this Sefardi guy who is very, very dark, and, well, not so attractive. But I saw him sitting with all the "Movers and Shakers" laughing up a storm. And all I could think of was, what's he doing with them?
And then I realized why I should be ashamed. Not because I wasn't giving him the opportunity to stand on his own merits. Because I was trying to avoid standing on my own merits! The underlying message of his acceptance was, "people do succeed because of ability, and aren't held back by such intangible factors as discrimination." But if he succeeded in the face of such odds, than why haven't I?
It's comfortable believing that I've been held back by the illogical likes, dislikes, and other whims of man. But if he overcame them, then I should have as well! And it's my own failure that keeps me wanting to believe in discrimination. So if I discriminate against him as well, then I can assure that the system of discrimination is kept alive and well, preserving a much more comfortable facade for my own failure.
And then I realized why I should be ashamed. Not because I wasn't giving him the opportunity to stand on his own merits. Because I was trying to avoid standing on my own merits! The underlying message of his acceptance was, "people do succeed because of ability, and aren't held back by such intangible factors as discrimination." But if he succeeded in the face of such odds, than why haven't I?
It's comfortable believing that I've been held back by the illogical likes, dislikes, and other whims of man. But if he overcame them, then I should have as well! And it's my own failure that keeps me wanting to believe in discrimination. So if I discriminate against him as well, then I can assure that the system of discrimination is kept alive and well, preserving a much more comfortable facade for my own failure.
# posted by Josh : Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Comments:
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hmmm - this is a bit of convoluted thinking. curious - is there any way this guy might possibly read your blog?
btw - just noticed i made one of your lists - my first reaction yay! my second, oy.
but...i just posted today - so you can take me off the should post more frequently and place me up higher :)
btw - just noticed i made one of your lists - my first reaction yay! my second, oy.
but...i just posted today - so you can take me off the should post more frequently and place me up higher :)
Josh, is this a trick or something? Like, Who pays attention to my blog and will catch on that this is the second time I'm posting this?
MH - He won't read this, and he wouldn't know it's him. I don't even know his name.
Neph and Eri- You are astute, albeit slightly inaccurate. I accidentally posted this once when it was still in draft form. It was up for all of five minutes before I called it back. But I guess you guys either check my blog very frequently, or you use a Blogrolling or feeding program.
Eshet - I think you understood me well- we all have innate prejudices. The question is, what causes them?
Elster - I apologize if that is how I came across. My point wasn't that he succeeded despite his shortcomings, but despite the discrimination he would have faced.
Neph and Eri- You are astute, albeit slightly inaccurate. I accidentally posted this once when it was still in draft form. It was up for all of five minutes before I called it back. But I guess you guys either check my blog very frequently, or you use a Blogrolling or feeding program.
Eshet - I think you understood me well- we all have innate prejudices. The question is, what causes them?
Elster - I apologize if that is how I came across. My point wasn't that he succeeded despite his shortcomings, but despite the discrimination he would have faced.
Awww...no! It would have been so much easier if you would have admitted that your feelings came about because of discrimination against him (instead of the criticism of yourself)! That's a very deep stance to take. But I hear some emes there. I mean I have looked at women who were not so pretty or shapely with handsome successful husbands and scoffed. On the flipside, I will most most likely receive this same reaction from other people if I am ever blessed to get married. This type of reaction makes me ashamed. It's a feable attempt to combat my own sense of worth.
I have no useful advice to offer as to how to stop these gut feelings. But at least you recognize that you have them. And to quote G.I. Joe, "Knowing is half the battle."
I have no useful advice to offer as to how to stop these gut feelings. But at least you recognize that you have them. And to quote G.I. Joe, "Knowing is half the battle."
EC - I divide everything in this world between our animal instincts and our higher intellect. Since our goal is to come closer to Gd, we accomplish this by fighting our animal drive. If discrimination is a byproduct of this competitive instinct, it would make sense that a religious Jew should do everything they can to uproot it, no matter how hard.
MS - Good synopsis. It's hard to blame ourselves, when others make such great defensive targets.
Elster - It's one of those downsides to the Blog monologue.
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MS - Good synopsis. It's hard to blame ourselves, when others make such great defensive targets.
Elster - It's one of those downsides to the Blog monologue.
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