Thursday, April 06, 2006

All Alone

This post is going to be like a Dvar Torah. I'm going to take two unrelated ideas and tie them together, not because they naturally relate, but because I wouldn't have enough to say unless I bring up two small points. And it'll sound a whole lot more professional if I make it sound like one fancy idea.

Some may have noticed my recent absence. In fact, it has been my longest time without posting since restarting my blog 14 months ago, I believe. While I have been busy/travelling, I will admit that mostly I haven't written because I haven't had any inspiration to write. Not that I haven't had ideas. I just haven't wanted to sit down and write. Truthfully, I've noticed a quiet all around the J-blogosphere. I'm not sure if I'm suffering from the same seasonal disorder as the rest of the bloggers, or the general silence is de-motivating me. Either way, I have definitely felt isolated recently, with the near freeze of blog activity coinciding with the general lack of anything interesting going on in my life.

On the other hand, at the dinner I attended last week, numerous individuals whom I know from real life mentioned that they've been keeping up with my life through my blog (although apparently as lurkers). This was very refreshing, seeing that my writing has kept me connected to friends from different parts of my life. So blogging should be breaking that loneliness, bringing new blog friends and old real friends into the same mix.

Now let me define loneliness, lest anyone start fearing depression, or, worse, absolute loser. Rabbi JB Soloveitchik wrote about a concept of loneliness endemic to the human race. In fact, he wrote a book about it, called The Lonely Man of Faith. I'm not a philosopher, nor a book reviewer, so I make no claims as to the accuracy of my interpretation. But the basic premise is that all humankind suffers from a certain feeling of isolation in this world as a result of its vastness. We all face this tension in some way. Some turn to social outlets, attempting to connect to other people to feel less alone, whether this be a spouse, a chavrusa, or a drinking buddy. But Rabbi Soloveitchik proposes that the only true connection that can remove us from the isolation is that with our Creator.

With that background, I hope that this blog serves more of the latter purpose. My lack of writing shouldn't increase the loneliness, but rather represents only part of the channel through which I connect with my Creator on a daily basis. Hopefully, I'll be inspired with more words more often to keep all you along for the ride as well.

Comments:
Hi Josh -as you also said to me, welcome back! I was away for almost a month due to a two week trip to Israel and another week and a half of remembering how I live in America. I had to relearn my life, in a way.

Anyway, I really can relate to your interpretation of loneliness -because usually, when I am alone, all I need to do to feel happiness and un-loneliness is, in fact, create a feeling of connection to Hashem. Being outdoors really helps- I think it has somethinis starting to get better, maybe people will start feeling less lonely, and will start reaching out more..more blogging too. We can only hope!
 
hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii jooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooosh! just sending big chocolate chip shomer negiyah hugs your way! on behalf of the whole blond family- chin up, and happy pre-pesach!!
 
I've been wrapped up with school so much that I have to add a point from the paper I recently wrote that does relate. Existential philosophy maintains that the feeling of isolation is one of the main struggles of the human condition, so you are definitely not alone. I like your take on it though, that our isolation can be ultimately contented (though it certainly is difficult to completely feel it) through our connection with Hashem. I think the fact that you find this to be comforting shows that your connection with Hashem is very strong, that is certainly an admirable quality. Good luck in channeling your blogging in a way that helps you improve your (and others') relationship with Hashem!
 
Yeah Josh, we're tired. There are those of us who have started new jobs (at LibertyPointe Bank...ppl call me if you need a great bank or a loan), still working old jobs (at Tovya Advertising...ppl call me if you need custom goods like pens, shirts, hats and ANYTHING else with your logo on it), becoming involved in new companies (North American rep of Nigunim.com...ppl visit to download Jewish music legally that will work with your ipod), starting new companies (REDACTED), and have also started dating an awesome girl (what more can I say). Those of us, not necessarily me. Maybe if everybody's lucky I'll find the time to post next week.

As an aside if you think people feel lonely and isolated because of the sheer vastness of the world, imagine how they musy feel when taking in the scope of the entire universe. Remember, we are but one speck of dust out of an innumerable dustball in the cosmos. I'm sure I really made people feel less lonely with that. It's 9:14 and I start work at 9:30 (yes, I'll be late) so later Josh.
Glad to have a post from you again.
 
Josh - I think that people feel inherently lonely, not because of the vastness of the universe, but because in fact we are each individuals with our own experiences and thoughts and no matter the relationship with others, we are each separate.
 
Being all alone and being lonely are not the same thing. Wasn't Rav Soloveitchik brilliant? I think that's what he means-that our ontological loneliness is inescapable and we can try to cover it up with people and things but it's a pit that we have to fall into sometimes in order to see what's true. So, if you're going through something right now, it's an opportunity for you to see things more truly. That said, I hope things are ok. Take a deep breath and a nice, long walk. :)
 
Josh reading the Rav? Wow times have changed.
 
A - Fixed- I love your blog, your writing, and your views, and now that you've reestablished your blog presence, I hope everyone checks it out. I also hope you're right and things pick up after Pesach. I find the blogs a great way for intellectual exchange. And, no, I haven't found many other great places to replicate that. So I hope it livens up again.

Okee - it is funny how a quick trip to Israel makes us have to realign all of our priorities again. Your comment about the outdoors really fit well with what I was thinking about cowboys. Random, I know. Part of their rugged lifestyle was there ability to commune with their greater purpose, at least as they perceived it, by relying on their own two hands out at natures feet. So your vision of nature and Gd's hand also inspires. I hope you'll share more of your thoughts!

BB - Shomer negia hugs! I thought we were closer than that? I'll take the chocolate chip cookies though. I'm not depressed, just noticing my isolation in the universe. It's natural.

Shoshana - Don't give me credit for Rabbi Soloveitchik's words. But I think his point is valid - that we all feel it, and have the choice of finding positive ways of narrowing the channel or negative ways.

D - Love the self-promotion. I'd buy you. It's funny, because the blogosphere is also vast. But it's the presence of all the thinkers out there that makes it feel smaller. So yeah, I hope people start posting more soon.

MH - Good point. I think some of the loneliness is the fact that nobody ever is fully understood, so we go through life psychologically alone, no matter how many friends we might have.

Shosh - I like to think that I'm seeing things more truly. It's definitely an intellectual thing though, not an emotional one. So it's not a funk, as much as I'd like to do more connecting with the devine. And the way I do that best is talking through the issues with people. But it's so quiet out here on the blogosphere. I guess maybe if I answered your emails...

Neph - It was a long time ago. And I wrote JB...
 
Shomer negiyah hugs ... that is brilliant -- luv it!
Anyhow, what I wanted to say is ...
First off, it feels like ages ... like, I almost sorta kinda miss you. I hope all's well my friend. Oh, and ... shomer negiyah hugs.
Secondly, what you said, it kind of reminded me of this experience I had last week, where I realized that, despite being alone (despite is too strong a word though, don'thca think) ... with just me, my thoughts, and I, I did get a very distinct feeling of NOT being alone, like a comforting feeling I guess of knowing that the Creator knows my every thought, whim, desire, etc ... Actually, I didn't feel unlike Tevye der Milchiger, muttering conversations between myself and the Almighty outloud.
It's a very warm, cradling feeling so I think you've hit upon a very trenchent point ...
And PS, it is z'man cheruseinu ... what do you expect, that people should be blogging about nonsense when there's cleaning that needs to get done?! [*kidding* ... sort of].
 
E - Your hugs are felt and appreciated. It has been too long, and it's been my fault. I've been reading everything that's going on in the blogworld, but I haven't been commenting. I've turned into a phantom. It's new to me, and I don't like it, but I'm still trying to figure out how to balance out my life right now, so we'll see how things play out. But I'm glad you felt the same feelings as I did here, because I do think they are universal. But cleaning? Yech. Although, I did do my taxes today.
 
hi josh, i just wanted to tell you that i love this post. i read it a little while ago, and it stuck in my mind so i had to come back and comment. from my experience, and from that of my friends ive discussed this with, ive realized that even in your deepest relationships, there is a small nagging feeling of loneliness in the back of your heart.. and i never understood it. i think i do now. theres a part of us that only g-d can connect to, and trying to fill that with anything/anyone else just doesnt work. feeling lonely when your alone is painful, but feeling lonely when youre in a lovnig relationship is that much more painful. conversly, feeling connected when you're in a relationship is beautiful, but feeling connected when you're lonely feels that much more beautiful.
 
Mookie - It's amazing how much we rely on relationships in our lives. We don't realize how deep a purpose they really serve. Or at least try to fill. They can make it easier, but never really fill that gap. But a little Gd goes a long way.
 
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