Thursday, October 05, 2006
Line Up
Yom Kippur was fine...yadda, yadda, yadda...I'm alive still, right? Well at least it went better than Rosh Hashana - I had five minutes of decent Kavana (and 12 hours of sore feet).
On an unrelated note, why do people make it sound as if there is something wrong with a guy having a "list" of girls to date? Do people come up to me and ask me if I'm interested in dating some girl? Yeah. Can I go out with all of them at the same time? Depends whom you ask. But at some point, there is going to be a bottleneck where even if I'm not currently dating somebody, I have to somehow put the suggestion into a queue. I mean, I guess I could just say I'm not interested, but that would shoot me in the foot if the girl I was seeing didn't work out.
I think people are just upset by their position in line. Like, "You mean, I'm only second in line? ME? I thought we were friends - how come I'm not next!" I have to be so diplomatic explaining that Mr. X spoke to me yesterday, so I had to put him first, or Mr. Y just threatened me with bodily harm, so I moved him ahead in line.
These lines are problematic, because as long as they exist, you feel you can judge each girl that much harsher, because the next girl on the list will probably be better. But from my experience, if your problem with the first girl is that her hair is too thin, the next girl will probably be bald, so you have to learn to focus. Which I've never been good at.
So all I'm saying is, take a number.
Now serving number 33...
On an unrelated note, why do people make it sound as if there is something wrong with a guy having a "list" of girls to date? Do people come up to me and ask me if I'm interested in dating some girl? Yeah. Can I go out with all of them at the same time? Depends whom you ask. But at some point, there is going to be a bottleneck where even if I'm not currently dating somebody, I have to somehow put the suggestion into a queue. I mean, I guess I could just say I'm not interested, but that would shoot me in the foot if the girl I was seeing didn't work out.
I think people are just upset by their position in line. Like, "You mean, I'm only second in line? ME? I thought we were friends - how come I'm not next!" I have to be so diplomatic explaining that Mr. X spoke to me yesterday, so I had to put him first, or Mr. Y just threatened me with bodily harm, so I moved him ahead in line.
These lines are problematic, because as long as they exist, you feel you can judge each girl that much harsher, because the next girl on the list will probably be better. But from my experience, if your problem with the first girl is that her hair is too thin, the next girl will probably be bald, so you have to learn to focus. Which I've never been good at.
So all I'm saying is, take a number.
Now serving number 33...
# posted by Josh : Thursday, October 05, 2006
Comments:
<< Home
There's nothing wrong with lists per say, provided that the person who is auspicious enough to have one (maybe you had some kavana last Yom Kippur), shouldn't behave as though they have one. Meaning, don't assume a date won't work out, just because you know you have something else in store. Some gentlemen like to think they are in a candy shop and if the lollypop tastes a little funny, it might be because they are so busy looking at the chocolate in the other aisle, they might not realize they never took the wrapper off the lolly. blech.
Get what I'm saying?
Get what I'm saying?
# posted by 
: October 05, 2006 5:54 PM
: October 05, 2006 5:54 PM
Glad to report I felt a little more on Yom Kippur too. Can't comment on the list thing as I Am married for so long I am to removed from that whole thing already!
A line implies that you're causing your basheret to wait...
What happens if you find out about someone amazing and then try to explain that you can't date that person for at least 6 months because you haven't gotten through your list first?
What happens if you find out about someone amazing and then try to explain that you can't date that person for at least 6 months because you haven't gotten through your list first?
Oh come now. You all misinterpret "list." It doesn't mean he strictly keeps it, if he meets someone or someone has good reasons why "this" girl is so much better than "that" girl, he'll certainly jump ahead. And it's not like he's too good to go out with anyone (this is Josh we're talking about), but how else do you expect him to keep things orderly. "Well I have a date with someone Tuesday afternoon, so I can pencil this new girl in for Tuesday night." That's ridiculous. And he doesn't make the list, the people setting him up do when they ask to set him up and he says he's involved and they ask to be let known when he's available.
I'm sure the girl doesn't wait around for him to be single either.
But as long as there's a list, I don't mind taking a few off your hands.
I'm sure the girl doesn't wait around for him to be single either.
But as long as there's a list, I don't mind taking a few off your hands.
Shosh - Emailing would be nice. But as you know, I'm pretty bad at keeping up. I suppose that would weed them out pretty fast...How's Gan Eden?
Anon 1 - How did you know you were next?
Anon 2 - Absolutely. But it's a challenge. Obviously, you have to be a mensch, and not treat anyone like they're just a number. But psychologically, it's very challenging not to start thinking about the next one at the first sign of imperfection. And that is a disservice to everybody. So, yeah, I get what you're saying.
FG - Glad to hear! Did you daven for me? I need every bit I can...and how far off are you from watching your own kids go through the courtship process?
In - It's true. Maybe she is waiting. Maybe she's number 37 in line. But maybe she's number 34. You don't know who it may be, so you have to give everyone a chance. I really ask very few questions about girls. The truth is, the line is really ordered by Shadchan, not girl. But for you, I can make an exception...
Duo - I know, even though I keep trying to lower myself...
BB - It makes me cry myself to sleep.
MH - Sounds, yes. But is there another way?
Dud - Thanks for getting my back, but no, you can't have my sloppy seconds...
Anon 1 - How did you know you were next?
Anon 2 - Absolutely. But it's a challenge. Obviously, you have to be a mensch, and not treat anyone like they're just a number. But psychologically, it's very challenging not to start thinking about the next one at the first sign of imperfection. And that is a disservice to everybody. So, yeah, I get what you're saying.
FG - Glad to hear! Did you daven for me? I need every bit I can...and how far off are you from watching your own kids go through the courtship process?
In - It's true. Maybe she is waiting. Maybe she's number 37 in line. But maybe she's number 34. You don't know who it may be, so you have to give everyone a chance. I really ask very few questions about girls. The truth is, the line is really ordered by Shadchan, not girl. But for you, I can make an exception...
Duo - I know, even though I keep trying to lower myself...
BB - It makes me cry myself to sleep.
MH - Sounds, yes. But is there another way?
Dud - Thanks for getting my back, but no, you can't have my sloppy seconds...
# posted by : October 09, 2006 9:06 PM
: October 09, 2006 9:06 PM
Josh - Maybe you'd be better off doing more screening and shortening the list to truly viable candidates.
Josh - Maybe you'd be better off doing more screening and shortening the list to truly viable candidates.
josh- maybe you should just let me and rebel do the screening- that would CERTAINLY shorten the list... or perhaps photochick could rank them from most to least edgy (or vice versa...)
and to dudie- perhaps josh is such a hot commodity because he actually responds to the people who comment on his blog (hint, hint...)
and to dudie- perhaps josh is such a hot commodity because he actually responds to the people who comment on his blog (hint, hint...)
I respond to comments! I don't itemize like Josh usually, but I respond! Josh doesn't even cook like me. Psh, what does he bring to the table?
Post a Comment
<< Home
