Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Panic Button
OK, so apparently the Jewish blogosphere has gone to sleep. People have stopped posting, people have stopped commenting. I've looked around, and the old timers seem to be moving on, and nobody seems to be stepping up to take their place. So it's getting pretty quiet, which makes me wonder if the whole frumosphere was just a fad. But never fear, I'm not going anywhere. This blog is all about me, and I'm still here.
I went to dinner last week with a (guy) friend. Now, you should all know that my guy friends are all better than average looking, because, hey, it's me we're talking about here, and I'm sure they all want me to bump their status up a few points. So we're at a fairly busy restaurant, when the waiter comes over and hands my friend a folded up piece of paper, signalling that it came from some unspecified "other" table.
Opening it up, my friend finds a girl's name, phone number, and email address. Was this somebody who had noticed a stain on my friends shirt, too shy or nice to interupt our meal to tell him? Perhaps she had lost something of value, and was hoping he could help return it? My friend thought she was hitting on him, but I know that is a myth that only exist in Hollywood. We stared at the note, wondering where it had come from, and curious whether we were still being watched. Yeah, it was kind of spooky, but it made for some great entertainment. The waiter played dumb, and we were left in suspense.
Did I mention my friend has a girlfriend? Yeah, so he really wasn't so interested in solving this mystery. So of course, I volunteered to do the leg work, and walked home with the note in my pocket.
The next morning, I called the number to see what the young maiden was so distressed over. When I said it was the guy from the restaurant, I think she almost dropped the phone. That was silly - if she hadn't expected a call back, why'd she leave her number? After recovering, I explained that I had called her back to find out what I could do for her, since the note had implied some kind of reason to get in touch. Oh, did I mention I didn't let on that it was me, and not my friend, returning the call?
I asked her if the whole effort was really just to discover what delicious looking dish I had ordered, and while she did inquire, I question the sincerity of her motives. Or perhaps I'm bitter because she mentioned that she didn't think "I'd" have a problem with her leaving a note, but wasn't sure about my "friend." Um, excuse me? I told her I was dating somebody, and left it at that. Although, she asked me to keep her number, so maybe she really thought my meal looked tasty.
Now what I found memorable about this story was not that some random girl actually passed a note to a hot guy in a restaurant. What bothered me was the implication that a frum guy (me) would have a problem with that, while it would be cool for a more modern guy. I mean, I would have no problem if any girl decided to pass along her digits in a public place. If I wasn't interested, I might pass up on the spontaneous opportunity, but hey what's there to lose? Afraid that it looks bad for Shidduchim? Is it that bad if a girl gave out her phone number - is it a bad thing that she wants to grab onto an opportunity to go out with a guy that she may have no other way of ever meeting again?
So I say go for it girls - you're more than welcome to hit on me wherever I may be, and I may even return your call.
I went to dinner last week with a (guy) friend. Now, you should all know that my guy friends are all better than average looking, because, hey, it's me we're talking about here, and I'm sure they all want me to bump their status up a few points. So we're at a fairly busy restaurant, when the waiter comes over and hands my friend a folded up piece of paper, signalling that it came from some unspecified "other" table.
Opening it up, my friend finds a girl's name, phone number, and email address. Was this somebody who had noticed a stain on my friends shirt, too shy or nice to interupt our meal to tell him? Perhaps she had lost something of value, and was hoping he could help return it? My friend thought she was hitting on him, but I know that is a myth that only exist in Hollywood. We stared at the note, wondering where it had come from, and curious whether we were still being watched. Yeah, it was kind of spooky, but it made for some great entertainment. The waiter played dumb, and we were left in suspense.
Did I mention my friend has a girlfriend? Yeah, so he really wasn't so interested in solving this mystery. So of course, I volunteered to do the leg work, and walked home with the note in my pocket.
The next morning, I called the number to see what the young maiden was so distressed over. When I said it was the guy from the restaurant, I think she almost dropped the phone. That was silly - if she hadn't expected a call back, why'd she leave her number? After recovering, I explained that I had called her back to find out what I could do for her, since the note had implied some kind of reason to get in touch. Oh, did I mention I didn't let on that it was me, and not my friend, returning the call?
I asked her if the whole effort was really just to discover what delicious looking dish I had ordered, and while she did inquire, I question the sincerity of her motives. Or perhaps I'm bitter because she mentioned that she didn't think "I'd" have a problem with her leaving a note, but wasn't sure about my "friend." Um, excuse me? I told her I was dating somebody, and left it at that. Although, she asked me to keep her number, so maybe she really thought my meal looked tasty.
Now what I found memorable about this story was not that some random girl actually passed a note to a hot guy in a restaurant. What bothered me was the implication that a frum guy (me) would have a problem with that, while it would be cool for a more modern guy. I mean, I would have no problem if any girl decided to pass along her digits in a public place. If I wasn't interested, I might pass up on the spontaneous opportunity, but hey what's there to lose? Afraid that it looks bad for Shidduchim? Is it that bad if a girl gave out her phone number - is it a bad thing that she wants to grab onto an opportunity to go out with a guy that she may have no other way of ever meeting again?
So I say go for it girls - you're more than welcome to hit on me wherever I may be, and I may even return your call.
# posted by Josh : Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Comments:
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Well, you know what they say about frum guys... They won't even look at a woman unless the shadchan suggests her first < / kidding.. well, mostly >
What guts! I'd never do it myself, but more power to her. of course..if you are gonna go ahead and pass along your number, you should certainly identify yourself - otherwise, what's the point?
as to why someone shouldn't go for it? well..it can make you look foolish or desperate. I'd prefer the guy to do the chasing.
as to why someone shouldn't go for it? well..it can make you look foolish or desperate. I'd prefer the guy to do the chasing.
To me it's perfectly understandable what she said.
I wouldn't do such a thing but if I had to, I'd certainly go for a girl that on the outiside looked relaitvely MO.
I wouldn't do such a thing but if I had to, I'd certainly go for a girl that on the outiside looked relaitvely MO.
maybe it's just harder to provoke thought in you than in most people, prag...
and, for the record, josh- SINCE THIS IS YOUR BLOG AFTER ALL- i would totally hit on you in public- if i was younger and sluttier and single...oh, yeah, and not so frummy frum...
and, for the record, josh- SINCE THIS IS YOUR BLOG AFTER ALL- i would totally hit on you in public- if i was younger and sluttier and single...oh, yeah, and not so frummy frum...
Josh -- the facty that you would have no problem with girls hitting on you is NO proof that most guys that look like you would. Let's face it -- you're by no means the norm and simply the whole interaction was based on nothing but looks. So from the outside, your friend looked good to her -- so she wanted to talk to him to her you looked frummy so she was scared of you -- These are all VERY normal thoughts, nothing too crazy...but understanding your perspective, I understand why you were annoyed...
Now you tell us that you're open to being hit on... do all the girls on your list know that? ;)
As I'm sure you know, frum people meet their basherets in many ways and not always through a shadchan. And there are even some frum girls that tell guys straight out to call them.
As I'm sure you know, frum people meet their basherets in many ways and not always through a shadchan. And there are even some frum girls that tell guys straight out to call them.
I wouldn't want my daughter passing out her number to a guy based on the way he looks. Frum or not frum.
would you?
would you?
# posted by 
: October 26, 2006 6:24 PM
: October 26, 2006 6:24 PM
"blogland really has become deserted and less thought provoking."
Perhaps people aren't reading Failed Messiah. Then again, I suppose he may not really be considered frum.
As for the woman - I wouldn't do it either and I am amused by the "If I were younger and sluttier" comment. The move is like something out of a movie. The only way it could have been more authentic is if she passed your friend a drink, and then the waiter said "Compliments of the young lady over there" or something.
Most women wouldn't do this also for safety reasons. Then again, frum guys are at least perceived as being less likely to be rapists and murderers, so perhaps she felt relatively safe doing such a thing.
That's the thing about creating safe spaces for women - it allows women to be freakier.
Perhaps people aren't reading Failed Messiah. Then again, I suppose he may not really be considered frum.
As for the woman - I wouldn't do it either and I am amused by the "If I were younger and sluttier" comment. The move is like something out of a movie. The only way it could have been more authentic is if she passed your friend a drink, and then the waiter said "Compliments of the young lady over there" or something.
Most women wouldn't do this also for safety reasons. Then again, frum guys are at least perceived as being less likely to be rapists and murderers, so perhaps she felt relatively safe doing such a thing.
That's the thing about creating safe spaces for women - it allows women to be freakier.
??????? ?: ????? ?"? ???? ???? ?? ???? ???? (????? ??) ?? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ?? ???? ??? ???? ???? ????? ?? ??? ???? ?? ??? ???? ???? ?? ??? ???? ?? ??? ??? ???? ????? ?? ????? ?? ???? ?? ?? ??? ????? ???? ?? ??????
# posted by : October 27, 2006 7:37 AM
: October 27, 2006 7:37 AM
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!- i just realized that prag said blogLAND, not blogBLOND... that makes so much more sense... (guess i can be the new president of the 'it's all about me' club!)
When you said delicious looking dish, I thought you were talking about me. Sounds like an www.almostmetjew.com kind of moment!
Ahuva - It's funny, but as true as that statement is theoretically, even the most frum guys would take notice if a girl showed direct interest (assuming the guy was looking).
MH - I also wondered why she didn't go all the way and identify herself. But I guess this was a good way to go out on a limb without risking any hurt feelings (either hers or my friends) in public. I can always appreciate sensitivity.
Prag - We certainly do have to take matters into our own hands sometimes. This girl certainly was prepared to be part of the solution - you can't complain about the shidduch world unless you yourself are ready to take a little leap. And I'm glad I'm not the only one to confirm the J-blogosphere's quiet phase, to our dismay.
BB - A little touchy, but Prag is harmless. Too bad I didn't know you in High School...
MH - I also wondered why she didn't go all the way and identify herself. But I guess this was a good way to go out on a limb without risking any hurt feelings (either hers or my friends) in public. I can always appreciate sensitivity.
Prag - We certainly do have to take matters into our own hands sometimes. This girl certainly was prepared to be part of the solution - you can't complain about the shidduch world unless you yourself are ready to take a little leap. And I'm glad I'm not the only one to confirm the J-blogosphere's quiet phase, to our dismay.
BB - A little touchy, but Prag is harmless. Too bad I didn't know you in High School...
Looks to me like you still get plenty of nice comments on your blog. I still see tons of jewish blogs out there. The names and faces might be a little different, but there are still plenty of us.
Is it common that girls go handing their number out? I think it's more the case that guys slip notes and numbers. I could be wrong.
Is it common that girls go handing their number out? I think it's more the case that guys slip notes and numbers. I could be wrong.
Hey Josh, I'd love to go out to dinner with you. Say Mike's Bistro? Call me. You already have my digits too, and no it's not a date, we can write it off as a business expense.
I think I'm going to post right now, things are slow at work.
I think I'm going to post right now, things are slow at work.
I'm like 99% sure this never happened. SOunds like Josh trying to get te "dead" blogland back to life.
# posted by : October 30, 2006 2:12 PM
: October 30, 2006 2:12 PM
I haven't gone anywhere. I've been posting weekly for almost a year now. But you are right that many of the blogs which represented frumkeit's splash into the world of blogs have gone the way of the dodo.
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# posted by : October 30, 2006 7:32 PM
: October 30, 2006 7:32 PM<< Home
