Monday, December 18, 2006
Oy Simchas
So my whirlwind travelling trip is off to a poor start. I'm in Vienna, and my second wedding is in Jerusalem. But I did pick up some interesting advice at the first wedding. My freshman Rebbe told me, "When are you getting married already? Stop messing around!" Now I know BlogBlond had just paid him to say it, so I'll just assume that it's her I'm really talking to.
I could get married. I could do as Isaac did, and just grab the next girl that shows up. I cretainly have had more than my fair share of opportunities. For one reason or another I just wasn't interested. (OK, I'll admit to the rare occurence that she wasn't interested...)The question would be, however, whether I'm avoiding marriage or whether I just haven't found the right person.
People can be picky about many things, and people can get more picky over time. People are looking for a girl with a certain dress size, a certain amount of money, and who knows the latest pop-culture despite having attended the best Beis Yaakov. But I'm not being that supericial. (Just a little...)
I am complicated, and that complicates the search. If you fit into the puzzle, it's not so hard to find your perfect fit. But I make no effort to fit in, and I think that makes finding my complement that much harder. But I wouldn't have it any other way. That's me.
So I'll keep looking for that girl who is guided first by Yiddishkeit, is always thinking about others, is outgoing and not afraid of people who are different, has a good sense of humor and take on life, and has goals of what she'd like to accomplish with her life (aside from just popping out children). Is that so unreasonable?
Um, and a size two...
I could get married. I could do as Isaac did, and just grab the next girl that shows up. I cretainly have had more than my fair share of opportunities. For one reason or another I just wasn't interested. (OK, I'll admit to the rare occurence that she wasn't interested...)The question would be, however, whether I'm avoiding marriage or whether I just haven't found the right person.
People can be picky about many things, and people can get more picky over time. People are looking for a girl with a certain dress size, a certain amount of money, and who knows the latest pop-culture despite having attended the best Beis Yaakov. But I'm not being that supericial. (Just a little...)
I am complicated, and that complicates the search. If you fit into the puzzle, it's not so hard to find your perfect fit. But I make no effort to fit in, and I think that makes finding my complement that much harder. But I wouldn't have it any other way. That's me.
So I'll keep looking for that girl who is guided first by Yiddishkeit, is always thinking about others, is outgoing and not afraid of people who are different, has a good sense of humor and take on life, and has goals of what she'd like to accomplish with her life (aside from just popping out children). Is that so unreasonable?
Um, and a size two...
# posted by Josh : Monday, December 18, 2006
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Well Josh you just proved that you Do indeed fit in. You are as superficial and phoney as all of those you pretend to be better than.
# posted by 
: December 18, 2006 11:58 AM
: December 18, 2006 11:58 AM
May you meet the right person at the right time. Being complicated isn't really a valid excuse, and I'm pretty sure you know it.
Not unreasonable, not (completely) it's just that it would possible to find a girl who only partially fits the profile you put down, and your (her husband) job will be to teach her to be more open, to ste specific goald (besides nocturnal occupations!!!) etc...
"has goals of what she'd like to accomplish with her life (ASIDE FROM JUST POPPING OUT CHILDREN)"
If you wonder why you remain alone... just re-read the quote above. You didn't even bother to say "popping out OUR children". No wonder you aren't interested in the women who want to marry you -- no self-respecting woman would even come close to entertaining the idea of marrying, let alone creating children with, a man who talks about family in that way.
Time is on your side... grow, learn, think about some of your subconscious ideas and expectations -- even conflicts -- and when you are ready to engage with a partner at the same level that you expect her to engage with you, then she will no doubt appear at your doorstep. For starters, it might be best not to put down the women who might actually consider becoming Mrs. J.Goldman -- i.e., it's not so much about them as it really is about you.
Hang in there, Josh. Growth can be slow, painful.. but well worth the effort
If you wonder why you remain alone... just re-read the quote above. You didn't even bother to say "popping out OUR children". No wonder you aren't interested in the women who want to marry you -- no self-respecting woman would even come close to entertaining the idea of marrying, let alone creating children with, a man who talks about family in that way.
Time is on your side... grow, learn, think about some of your subconscious ideas and expectations -- even conflicts -- and when you are ready to engage with a partner at the same level that you expect her to engage with you, then she will no doubt appear at your doorstep. For starters, it might be best not to put down the women who might actually consider becoming Mrs. J.Goldman -- i.e., it's not so much about them as it really is about you.
Hang in there, Josh. Growth can be slow, painful.. but well worth the effort
# posted by : December 21, 2006 8:08 PM
: December 21, 2006 8:08 PM
I cracked up at the size 2 comment. Sooo Josh, and yes, people, it was a joke (for sure, maybe, well, maybe half). Love ya, Josh. Come visit again!
*Gasp* pig! Kidding lol. I'm sure you knew you were going to get a bunch of annoyed comments at the final little line. I can also imagine you sitting there and soaking them up and smiling.
I believe each persn has a person that completes them. I don't believe that each person marries who they think is pefect for them, especially in the dating world, but bashert has a way of stepping in when two people are really meant to be together. Maybe she'll be the opposite of you and the opposite of "exactly" what you want. And maybe when you meet her you'll just know...I wouldnt want a feminine guy because I'm girly. I wouldn't want someone who cries during movies because I want him to be there for me when I do. I want the other half of me. Not a twin. We're a match not a pair.
I believe each persn has a person that completes them. I don't believe that each person marries who they think is pefect for them, especially in the dating world, but bashert has a way of stepping in when two people are really meant to be together. Maybe she'll be the opposite of you and the opposite of "exactly" what you want. And maybe when you meet her you'll just know...I wouldnt want a feminine guy because I'm girly. I wouldn't want someone who cries during movies because I want him to be there for me when I do. I want the other half of me. Not a twin. We're a match not a pair.
you're too complicated? c'mon josh... even a person who comes off as a shallow idiot has more depth to them that that. being "complicated" is definitely not a valid excuse. but based on the fact that you're trying so hard to make people think that your being complicated makes it harder for you to find "the one" makes one think that you're probably not ready to take the plunge yet... Oh, and girls who are a size 2 may have a few more complications than you'd want to take on ;-)
Hey Josh,
Like your blog. It's good to catch up on Jewish life in NY. I graduated YU and now married back in chicago. Keep it up!
Want to trade links btw? http://www.rosstopherblog.blogspot.com let me know
Like your blog. It's good to catch up on Jewish life in NY. I graduated YU and now married back in chicago. Keep it up!
Want to trade links btw? http://www.rosstopherblog.blogspot.com let me know
hey josh, great to read your blog after a longer than expected hiatus.
Being a complicated dater myself, I empathise--its less about you getting them than them getting you--and that is something that is beyond your control. Being able to express what makes you vulnerable in a positive way--now taht is within your control, and thats where I know I need to work at it.
From what I know about you though, you're not all that complicated--and when the timing is right, it'll all fall into place. I have faith you'll find her.
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Being a complicated dater myself, I empathise--its less about you getting them than them getting you--and that is something that is beyond your control. Being able to express what makes you vulnerable in a positive way--now taht is within your control, and thats where I know I need to work at it.
From what I know about you though, you're not all that complicated--and when the timing is right, it'll all fall into place. I have faith you'll find her.
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