Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Failure

There isn't anything you can't do. That's what I thought. A little renaissance man. Prove to everyone that you can have your cake and swallow it.

I've always wanted to be that ideal - the best of all worlds. To hold a respected job, to be a Talmid Chocham, to lead the community when nobody else can, and to just lend a hand when there is somebody else. It's really not so hard. Yeah, you have to cut out the idleness from your schedule, so that you can prepare for your next call of duty, whether it be laining this weeks parsha or putting together a program for the shul's youth.

But this Yom Tov, I proved myself wrong.

They needed somebody to lain Haftorah, but I don't know the trop. They wanted a shaliach tzibbur for Hallel, but I had no tunes. They wanted a Dvar Torah, but all I could do was stare at a Chumash. I ran a Tisch for my friends, but couldn't hold it together.

I was wrong. I'm not Mr. Saviour. But I don't think it's because it's not possible. It was an even worse realization - Either I just don't have the specific traits and skills necessary to pull it off, or because I'm holding back from demonstrating those talents because I'm afraid of stepping out of my comfort zone.

Either way, it doesn't bode well for your hero.

Comments:
try again
 
You are starting to learn that in fact, you cannot do everything. The key is to pick a few things and becoime excellent at them. This will be better than doing everything marginally.
 
Definitely try again. While it's true that not everyone is cut out to do everything, I'm not sure how much you tried. Learn the trop, learn some tunes, learn a d'var Torah, and then go out there. You can't label yourself a failure if from the outset you denied yourself, even if passively and through lack of knowledge, the wherewithal to even attempt to succeed.

And it's very hard for me to believe that you're afraid of stepping out of any comfort zone. But then again the Josh I see may not be the real Josh, as it is with every person that's not me.
 
i love findnig out that there are things i cant do, cuz then it means that there are things that i can do. things that i can and things that i cant, some to do and some to give over, some to be proud of and some to make me proud of others. youre not a hero, yay.. sounds healthy.
 
You are a hero in your own way, you just have to see it and recognize your qualities. They exist and you'll be amazed to see how great they are.
 
Hi

Please consider writing news pieces or an op-ed for Jewrusalem: Israeli Uncensored News. We strive to present different views and opinions while rejecting political correctness. Ideally, we try to make the news "smart and funny." Thus, your input is very welcome.

Best,
Alex
www.jewrusalem.net/en
 
No worries, J-Man. You're still my hero. And you could take that to the bank.
 
First time reader, first time commenter. Very excited to see you have a blog.

Coming to terms with personal limitations is, I think, both healthy and a part of the transition to adulthood. Furthermore, perfection in the way you describe isn't even a Jewish value. Tanach is filled with examples of exceptional yet incredibly flawed human beings. Perhaps this is what Mrs. Rosenwald referred to as "the human condition." Always try to do your best, but don't get down on yourself for not being able to do it all.

And I love hearing that you're dating someone...

Best,
Hannah Fraint
 
You're not going to be perfect at everything. You're human; G-d just didn't make us that way. That doesn't mean you should give up. Make your ideal to be the best Josh you can possibly be.

Learn the trop and some tunes if that's what you want to do; you're perfectly capable of it. But don't try to be Mr. Saviour, okay? No one expects perfection. People don't want perfection, really. How do you befriend/relate to someone who is perfect?
 
MH - Two words, and you nailed it. It took me two seconds to realize that my failure wasn't an end, just a step. It's like an F on a paper, but that doesn't mean I'm failing out of college.

Treif - I don't know. I still think I can do everything. I just might have to work harder to make up for areas where I am naturally weaker if I see them as important. I definitely don't have any intentions of being marginal, either in what I do, or as a way of life.

WWFF - Shiva Yipol Hatzaddik V'Kom. Of course. For the record, since writing this, I have been the Shaliach Tzibbur at a large shul, leined, and prepared a D'var Torah (although I didn't give it). It might not be easy, but if I see it as important, I have no intention of giving up. M'Makom Sh'Ein Ish Tishtadel L'Hiyot Ish. You have to keep trying. And yes, T, there is more to me than you've gotten to see...

Anony- Obviously knowing our limitations helps us focus on our strengths, but I don't think we can just be normal. We have to strive to be a hero. Everybody. That doesn't mean we will all be perfect. But we can't all sit back and let somebody else take care of everything. In capitalism, we focus on supply and demand, not ability. If I am the best orator but craftsman are short in supply, I will be more useful using my hands. So too we have to recognize our talents and weaknesses, but they are all pointless unless we know how to channel them to make the world a better place.

True anonymous - I may or may not be a hero already. The point is we can never sit back and be complacent. We always have to gear up to face the next challenge. Maybe if I saw myself as great, I'd stop striving...

Alex - I love opeds. I'm "Mister Letter to the Editor." Unfortunately, you can see from how often I've been posting that I have to be cognizant of taking on more than I can handle...or maybe that is the whole point of this point. OK, so maybe I just think I have less to contribute to your topic than others. Sorry.

Eri - You're awesome. Fortunately, I don't have too many people like you, or I'd have to peel my ego off the ceiling.

Hannah - Glad you found me! I'm not concerned with being perfect - far from it - but I am concerned with acheiving my full potential. And Tanach is filled with those examples (take Jonah as one). While the human condition will limit my ability to do it all, it isn't an excuse to stop trying. I have to pick and choose what I can contribute based on my limited resources, but I couldn't accept throwing up my hands and saying I'm not good enough at something. If I'm good not good at singing, I won't rely on others to pick up the slack. Ultimately, what I am good at is recognizing needs and doing what I can to help. If you loved hearing that I'm dating someone, I hope that you won't hate hearing that it didn't work out. See you in August?

Ahuva - You bring together both issues - being the best we can be with being perfect. I only believe in the former. And how do we relate to that person? Well, that's my ultimate goal. Hopefully, we aspire to emulate that striving.

I've had a lot of thoughts lately, but nothing that I remembered long enough to write. I'd love to get back to more frequent postings, but I have to start focusing more, in all aspects of my life.
 
Josh, fellow out-of-towner here. I like your writing. I like the frank discussions of things you're wrestling with and I can definitely relate to it. Please check out my blog, http://dixieyid.blogspot.com, and if you like the content, please consider permanently linking to me. I'm creating a permanent link to you as well.

-Dixie Yid
 
I have to tell you, I love it that you called me "Eri," which is a nickname only used by my closest friends and family.

You, my man, fall somewhere in between. You're such a zisa lantzman.

And by the way, anything I could do to help you out in the ego department, you let me know. I got a ton of material in reserves for you alone.
 
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