Why Josh Can't Be Left Alone

I went with another friend to visit a guy who recently got engaged. He had the girl in town with him. And for some reason, boy did I make an impression. It seems whenever a girl is present I feel some need to not hold back on anything I'm thinking. This girl must have thought I'm a heathen. I made fun of anything - nothing was sacred. I didn't bother to worry about the impression. I made fun of her friends, family, (her fiance). She must think I'm charming. For a girl with a lot of single friends, I don't know why I don't make better attempts to come off as a good guy. But I definitely had fun.

Quoted again!

I was talking to a friend. Mutual friends of ours are going on a date tomorrow. I didn't see things going well. I'm not really sure why this was quotable, but if she did, I'll repeat it!

Me [9:10 PM]: ...this is going to go great...
Girl [9:10 PM]: i would pee in my pants to be a fly on a wall
Me [9:11 PM]: but you made your choice...

I'm a little bit of a business man. Everything for me is an opportunity. Like the neighborhood grocery store closing. And I heard today about another business that is struggling. So my first reaction, of course, was to buy it...I just see inefficiencies in the world, and see them as opportunities to capitalize on.

One of my current favorite projects involves a massive real estate development. The cornerstone of the project would be an indoor gardens. Of course, I'm not just telling you this so you can steal my ideas. The funny thing was that I just finished reading this novel about a business man who basically gets carried away with his visions, which are really dreams. And he goes and builds this tremendous tower full of gardens and so many other things that basically he recreates the entire world within his building. It's not fully as dramatic as that, but the basic point is that his striving in this world was basically to be like Gd and create in his lifetime what Gd has done, and the obvious failures of any such project. So I just thought that it was funny that that was the exact project I was thinking about. And of course, I could fully subscribe to the motives...

I was quoted on somebody's IM Away Message. Hooray for small joys!

Josh: on "arm" day
Josh: you could be like "I have one of those!"
Me: umm...yah...u were obviously not a bio major...
Josh: umm, lea...I've checked you out plenty
Josh: and you definitely have arms
Josh: you don't need to be a bio major for that

I've realized something's missing. I'm passing up on one of the main opportunities presented by blogging - to proclaim your personal manifesto to the world. While I don't have time to share anything specific right now, I just wanted to let you know that there is more than enough personal philosophy on how the world should work that I will try and give you both some of my understanding of the fundamental's of the world and man's approach to it, as well as my reaction to more concrete things that have occurred.

I guess that could be interesting - to me.

We went shopping at the small neighborhood grocery store to pick up a few yogurts for the week. We got there to find out that everything in the store was half off - they were closing up the store for good, and today was the last day they'd be open. Now this place is a neighborhood institution, the cliched place where everybody knew you and you'd be greeted with a smile and, yes, by name. Everybody seemed pretty upset, customers and workers alike. Of course that didn't stop a mob of people from storming the place to stock up on their food. We spent over three hundred dollars to take advantage of their half off deal. It was quite the shopping spree. The refrain was "we don't want to take advantage of their misfortune, but grab a few more of those cereal boxes!" Quite compelling, people's behavior. So concerned with themselves, even as they lament another's misfortune. And they were such nice people, at the store. We had a few hundred dollars of gift certificates, and we couldn't use them all, so I traded them to other customers, and the check out lady made sure that we were able to use them all, before they closed.

Of course, me being the opportunist, waxed a little less nostalgic than the rest. I wanted to know who was wholesaling or liquidating the remaining merchandise after today. And who was taking over the lease payments. And why they would shut down with one days notice. I guess that's my self-centered take on life. Abstracting issues and removing their human element. Just seeing everything as a case of efficiency and opportunity. You learn about yourself from random occurences.
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I went to visit a friend today. And his girlfriend of 7 months. Yeah, that's a done deal. And he was the most callous, non-emotional guy of the group. Last time I talked to him, about a month back, he was adamant that he didn't know where the relationship was going, that he still didn't feel anything. I still don't think he feels anything. But she wants in. That was clear. She'd get married tomorrow. And the thing is, it looks like she's one. Not only because he brought her to Chicago for the weekend. But he is so whipped. It looks like she didn't have to confront him and ask for a ring. She just exerted her female force over him and it looks like he has no say in the matter.

So of course I welcomed her into the "family." As such, I treated her as a life long friend, doing whatever I could to embarass her and him, as well as drop subtle-as-rock hints that getting married was inevitable. The weird thing was, I think she took it better than him. He kicked me a few times under the table. But she just laughed. I like her. Of course, their reaction just furthers my previous observation - she's sold on the deal, and he's still uncomfortable.

We'll see where it all goes. I guess when he falls, it will be end of an era. The "Guys" will definitely be no more if our president has resigned from the club.

Let's say you're eating lunch a mile and a half away. And it's freezing and snowing, and it's Shabbos, so you have to walk for religious reasons. Now let's say there is a synagogue right there, next to where you're eating. So it's only half a mile walk to synagogue and lunch instead of two miles to go to both. What would you do? I'd go to the synagogue near lunch. But not my parents. No. Why should they change their routine? Why should they let logic interupt their daily life?

I don't really care where they pray. I don't really care where I pray for that matter. What I do care about is my sanity. Am I going to turn into my parents? Am I going to be stubborn and do non-rational things out of habit? Sometimes I'm not sure if what they do is typical of all people after they reach a certain age, and I am therefore doomed to their situation, or whether we have different personalities, and as soon as I move out and get married, I'll never have to face such stupidity again. But I'm afraid it's the former...

I finally found something new to talk about. I've been working with a friend to kick off a new fundraising campaign for the alumni association of our college. The goal is to seed an endowment fund that would snowball in value over the years so that we could turn a few hundred thousand into a few million. Of course, the trick has been figuring out how to get people to contribute, and how to get the University to work with us.

I made some good headway today, putting together a model for a day of fundraising. We've already reached out to the University and it looks like they will entertain our suggestion. It just seems to be a question of how much control they will leave us with. And of course if we can convince enough people to drop money in the hat.

I have to start building a life here. I focus so much on going to NY or on work or dating, that I don't bother to take care of the basics for life. Like making new friends in Chicago. Or making plans with old ones. My aunt wants me to take her extra car, but of course I'm so not focused on my needs here that I really don't make it much of a priority. I may be miserable so I'm always thinking about the good times in NY (whether they really are or not is debatable). But I could probably at least temper my mediocre situation by building up a base of activity here. Time will tell...

Wow, it's been too long. I could write every five minutes. But during most of my life, I don't have access to Blogger.

So I just got back from NY. Where I got right back to helping with the YU Seforim Sale. And took grief for moving to Chicago. Wow, nothing changes. Good thing that all the factors that keep me tied to NY won't give me a complex.

My flight landed at 7 this morning. But I wasn't able to make it anywhere for minyan. I was sorely disappointed. I ended up praying by myself in the Skokie Kollel. It was a bad sign, and left me with a bad taste in my mouth. I hate nothing more than praying by myself. I feel like such a cop out.

Kind of frustrating...I just lost the post I wrote...I'll try and recreate it...I should probably be using some kind of back up system...but that would take away from the spur of the moment feeling...

Yesterday at work, I took an online medical analysis. I scored 156 out of 200, excellent for my peer group, and slightly above average. By biggest risk? Depression. Go figure, hate your job and have no friends near you, and you aren't happy with your life. Do I need medication? No, just something/somebody to care about.

By the way, I should add that this site was originally created as a class project. I've chosen to preserve all those posts, for authenticity's sake. They aren't that interesting. Or maybe they are.

OK, I've just created two new blogs in the last two days. So why am I going back to a third? Better yet, why didn't I just revitalize this one with all the stuff I may end up posting on the other two? Mainly because I want to be able to maintain separate audiences. Each of my blogs targets a different group. One relates to being religious in a Fortune 500 firm, another to the trials of dating in the Orthodox world, and this one will be for me. For all the things that I want to say that don't relate to the others. Maybe politics. Maybe literature. Maybe religious. Whatever it may be, it will be more about me. Perhaps the readers of my other blogs will use this just to get a better sense of who I am. Or perhaps I'll be the only visitor.

The lack of an audience never stopped me...